My worst meal of this year possibly

It's the month of Ramadan the fasting month for Muslims all over the world now.

This is a different fasting month for me because working 8-8 shift hours means I am still at the office by the breaking of fast time. So, yesterday was my first ever breaking fast at the office or at any workplace.......in my life.....ever!

How was it then? Horrible. It was the worst Ramadan day I ever felt.

Breaking fast has always been a sort of celebratory affair for many of us and certainly for me. No family. Only a bunch of exhausted colleagues. The thing is, the best part about breaking fast is the build-up to it among which includes preparing the food, laying out the table, counting the seconds by the clock on the wall and the variety of TV shows chronicling the lives of other Muslims especially the less fortunate around the world. It isn't really about the food but being together and sharing with the people who matter to you and knowing that millions around the world are doing the same too.

So, tonight, I'm just going to go back to old ways in the Middle East many centuries ago. Breaking fast with dates and a sweet cordial drink (since I don't have milk with me). Then, off to my prayers. That's better than having to queue up at the canteen with hordes of production operation girls 'fighting' for the best food we can get.

Maybe this is the real spirit of Ramadan that the Almighty wants me to learn after more than 3 decades of living. Moderation. Moderation. Moderation.

The dream with the Japanese group in it.......

I had a bizarre dream last night.

I saw a big group of Japanese guys in nice clothes coming to our factory here shaking hands and saying goodbye to everyone. What a dream it was because I knew who they were!

Due to economic reasons, our Japan HQ had to retrench some members from the organization over there. I heard about 50 employees were affected including my ex-boss. My current Japanese boss wouldn't divulge the actual figure and the management wished to keep it hush-hush so as not to scare the employees here.

The thing is, our branch is the only one in the group still making profits. So, the profits have to be distributed among the group of companies. Unfair if you ask me because when they were making profits, none was shared with our branch. We get among the lowest increment and the lowest bonuses and minimal allowances among the group.

Now, back to the dream.

What struck me most about the dream last night was the first face I saw. It belongs to a femininely pretty boy designer from the HQ. He came down to our branch a few times and I was always mesmerized by his 'beauty'. He looked like a Manga character came to life with his perfectly shaped arched eyebrows, girly pretty eyes, velvety smooth skin, small but full lips, pointy nose and spiky hairdo. He was mega-shy around me because he knew I liked looking at him. Well, he was shy with everyone, I think.

Then, yikes, I saw my ex-boss. Though he and I never really got along great, I did feel sorry for him when he got retrenched.

As for the pretty boy, dang I'm going to miss him. I had always tried to take his picture everytime he was here but he somehow always noticed it and hid his face. Now, I will never have a picture of the pretty manga boy.

The Japanese electronic designer guy was pretty. Something like this picture. Seriously! I wish I had his picture taken. Now I'll never get that chance :-(

Moral of the story, if you feel like snapping a picture of a pretty face, just do so. You might lose that chance forever.

My First Shift Hours Working Day....EVER!

Yeah, I survived my first day of working shift hours!

I'm home as I'm typing this. It was ok. Wasn't bad at all. I didn't even use my MP3 Player. Believe it or not!

It felt like a trip down memory lane actually. 8 years ago, I would have been slaving myself in overtime hours up to 9.10pm every night. Now, THAT was tiring. I kept on wishing I could walk out at 8.10pm.

So, now I have the best of both worlds. I have the extra working hours with payment (only peanuts but better than nothing). I can catch up on my piling workload. I can go home before my eyes get sleepy.

I think I can survive this till next year. Hopefully my financial situation would be better by then.

Here's to the working girl. Congratulations!

PC Fair again.......thought I could resist it but then again

I couldn't resist the August PC Fair which started on Friday here in my home state.

I might need entertainment now that I'm going into shift working hours.
What a crappy logic!

I knew I needed the money for other important causes but somehow I found the logic to grab myself the tiny MP3 Player.

The black one wasn't broken after all.

The black one was bought last year (Read here). I thought it was broken but I have since discovered that it's working ok except that it cannot read the SD Card. The internal memory works fine. Damn.

So...two mechanics made one decision...for me

Exactly.

It's about my car again.

I remember when I bought it, I told everyone who cared to listen that I'd drive it till it falls apart. I think that time has come after almost 8 years of its service to me.

First, I went to get the wire for the spark plug replaced. The mechanic, who was a relative of mine, teased me about getting a Kenari, an ugly boxy nationally produced car (design from Japan of course).

Second, I went to the air-conditioning mechanic. He said there was nothing wrong really about the aircond system. It's just that the compressor, which is not an original since the car has long been discontinued, is not working to the quality that the original would. He also said that it's a sign telling me that it's coming to the end of its life.

Fine!

This is it (like the final words of Michael Jackson)!

I have to work my ass off starting from tomorrow for the new car in December. Yes, it's going to be December.

I might have to borrow some money from somebody to help topping up the downpayment to reduce my monthly repayment.

I'll be back to square one. Hwaaaahhh!!!!!!!

I see myself "kow-tow"ing to the system.....blessing or curse?

I did talk about my anger about the forced car scrap thingy. Yes, I was furious.

Today, I found myself leaning more and more towards the system. I'm starting to behave like the failed hippie who has started to wear business suits because she needs the money and has to leave behind her ideal dreams.

Ok. I stopped by at a major supermarket where they always have car salesmen doing promotion outside at the entrance.

I purposely walked to a car on display and appeared interested in one of the price flyers. A smiley salesman came to me pitching a sale. He looked like one of my relatives so I immediately felt at ease with him.

Ok. Back to the car. After a lot of thinking and consideration over the past 2 months, I think I might be settling for this model. Perodua Viva 1.0 Manual Transmission.

Of course, in my dreams, I would have preferred to get the Premium Auto Transmission MyVi or a High End AMT Proton Savvy but those two are well beyond what my bank account could reach.

Myvi(left) and Savvy(right)

My old man reminded me a few weeks ago that the MYR5K voucher that the national car makers are giving out in exchange of old cars would expire by the end of this year. Sadly, the salesman confirmed that the info was true.

Therefore, I would have to give up my car much earlier than what I expected. I was hoping of taking the new car next year. With this piece of news, it's very much unlikely.

Why oh why?

Oh, the salesman dropped another bomb on my head. The Viva 1.0 is now only available as Viva Elite. A sportier-looking update which I'm not too keen of. I prefer the clean and smooth appearance of the original Viva.

The Viva Elite.
I won't choose this colour. I'm weighing between the exquisite Pearl Jade or the easier-to-maintain Metallic Silver.


The Viva Elite Rear.
I feel that the look is too 'busy'. Guys would like it. I still prefer the original smooth look. Those are 14-inch rims btw.

There is only one thing that keeps me on the positive. Who would have thought that I would buy one important point that a car salesman made?

The car salesman casually asked have we all ever felt hesitation and worries when we have to do a long journey with our 17-year-old car?

The question struck a nerve in me.

Yes, I do feel worries nowadays when I need to travel outside my tiny home state. What if my car stalled somewhere miles away from home?

Ok. That's a very good reason to get a new car.

Would I cry over giving up my well-serving little car? Possibly. It held many memories for me. Sometimes, we do have to believe in goodbyes.

Goodbye Freedom for She Works Hard for the Money

I did the unthinkable today.

I walked up to our new Manager and requested to be entered into the 12-hr shift of 8am-8pm. Just last month, I wouldn't have thought of putting myself through that!

The thought actually crossed my mind yesterday as I was cramming my workload at 8am in the morning before going for a Quality System training at 9am. Knowing that I wouldn't be able to finish it and added to that, I have many other assignments piling up due to lack of manpower, I began to surrender to the fate I had managed to avoid in my 8+yrs here.

Since the HR barred me from claiming OT on weekdays, I have no choice but to go for the shift hours in order to be 'compensated' for the extra hours I unwillingly had to put in daily in order to finish my workload.

Hey, I might as well find a way to get the company to pay me for that!

My new motto:

Work for the MONEY, honey!

So.....



Goodbye to freedom.

Goodbye to leisurely 'walk' at the shopping malls after work.

Goodbye to giving sorry excuses for turning up late for work coz they'll cut your shift hours payment if you do so.




Hello to having to shower at 9pm in the evening.

Hello to going to bed by 11.15pm the latest so I wouldn't wake up late and lethargic the next day.

I miss Cinnabon.....!

I'm missing those luscious Cinnamon rolls lately. Yes, I'm talking about Cinnabon.

I first encountered Cinnabon at Suria KLCC over in the capital city while waiting for my buddy to get off work.

It was quite early in the morning that day. I was broke but hungry. Hadn't had my brekkie. In that situation, your choices for munch-munch were limited to only how deep your pocket could go. How I'm glad my choices were limited. It made life easier. I'd eat where it was cheapest.

Then I saw it! The only food stand that sold a cup of tea at MYR2.50 where others were selling at an average of MYR4-5 a pop. Cinnabon!


That was when I fell in love with those cinnamon rolls.

This one is in Tracy, California but since I have no pic of the one here where I live, I just have to take this one from Wikipedia.

Imagine how excited I was when they opened a stand in my home state's most famous shopping mall, the Mahkota Parade (MP). I would stop by after work to buy the rolls. The Minibons were surprisingly pretty cheap for an American franchise product. You could mix any flavours you wanted in one box.

My favourite....the Pecanbon!
Btw, the one they served here had more pecans.

Then, the stand was gone. I guess the cinnamon rolls probably didn't cater too well to average Malaysian taste buds. I don't know but I was crushed.

I did find a good recipe here at Gordonfamily.com.

I haven't tried it but reading how they went through many tries and errors in their quest to clone Cinnabon's signature flavour, I would love giving this one a try someday.

By the way, I didn't know that Cinnabon's first store is in Seattle, Washington! More reason to love Seattle besides Heart, Queensryche, Chris DeGarmo and Frasier. Yeah!

Also, all these times, I pronounced the name as "sinna-bond". Yes, "bond" as in "Bond-James Bond". Out of curiosity, I surfed the net to hear how other people pronounced it. Apparently, the "bon" is supposed to be pronounced as "bun". Oh, dear. So, it's "sinna-bun". That doesn't sound so "attention-grabbing" like "sinna-bond" would.

What if the bridge was never built?

I talked about wanting my bridge unbroken before.

Some people never even got the bridge built.

Jim Corbett National Park photo by Sumeet18

What if the bridge was never built?

I've been listening to this song a lot lately and thinking about how opposite my life is from the songwriter, one of my musical heroes, Chris DeGarmo.

- Bridge (by Chris DeGarmo) -

You called me up on the phone today
struggling with the right words to say.
Time can change a thing or two.
Time has changed the lives of me and you,
but you know... it could have been different dad.

The word brings back a sweet memory.
I'm sitting on a bluff on a broken tree,
by my side a distinguished man giving me
encouragement, telling me I can, and you know ...
you're not there.

You say, "Son, let's forget the past,
I want another chance, gonna make it last."
You're begging me for a brand new start, trying
to mend a bridge that's been blown apart, but you know...
you never built it dad.

So I sit here through the night, and I
write myself to sleep, and time keeps ticking...
Time has made you finally realize your loneliness and your guilt inside.
You're reaching for something you never had,
turning around now you're looking back, and you know...
I'm not there.

You say, "Son, let's forget the past.
I want another chance, gonna make it last."
You're begging me for a brand new start, trying
to mend a bridge that's been blown apart, but you know ...
you never built it dad.

- Queensryche -

It's a deeply personal song he wrote about his relationship with his father who walked out on his family when he was young.

For someone who carries such an emotional baggage, Chris certainly grew up into a fine man. An accomplished musician and a family man who has managed to stay married to the same woman longer than most rock stars out there.

It is just the opposite of myself. I wonder what kind of a person would I be had I lived his life instead?

What if I got "a distinguished man who's never there telling me I can", instead of "a distinguished man who's always there telling me I can't do this or that"? Would either way made me bitter that it really wouldn't matter which life I had?

Chris' father passed away during the making of this particular Queensryche album, Promised Land.

It's now July. Chris' birthday is in June and there is one thing I can learn from this Gemini star. The way I see it from observing him, we are what we choose to make out of our own life. Sure, life makes us but to Chris, only to a certain extent seemingly. I see him making choices and steering (or pilotting :-)) his life into the direction he wants to bring his destiny to.

Ok. I used to trash it when people said that Gemini is a good balance for Aries, which I am. I said Gemini people were boring. Looking at Mr. Chris DeGarmo, hmm....I'm 'pilotted' to change my mind.

Thank you Chris. You've always been a magnificent bridge.

Here's the song:

In Memory of Yasmin Ahmad, the Story Teller

The Story Teller

That's the name she gave herself for her blogs right here on Blogger, Yasmin - The Story Teller and Yasmin - The Story Teller Part 2. Indeed, what a master story teller she was.

Just one month after the passing of the world's beloved and irreplaceable King of Pop, our country lost one bright star who had been captivating not just us but advertisement and film lovers around the world with her mastery of telling stories of human relations and emotions. We lost the beautiful person Yasmin Ahmad.

I first knew about Yasmin before she became a film-maker. One of Malaysian women magazines did a feature on the important figures in the world of advertising in our country. That was when I first saw her picture. With her long straight hair and her warm unmistakable smile. She was already a highly respected prominent advertising figure in the world at the time, working for Leo Burnett. In the article, her creative partner talked about the respect they had for each other and how they were perfect working together as a team.

Famous for her award-winning Petronas advertisement series, I was excited when I heard that she was venturing into movie-making. She didn't disappoint me. I had long been disillusioned by the industry in Malaysia at the time and she was a welcome breath of fresh air. If it wasn't for her, other indie film-makers here would have had an even harder time trying to break through. It's the bureaucracy. Heck, even Yasmin herself wasn't spared of the attack from those so-called Malaysian cultural 'preservers'.



Last night, TV3 paid a tribute to her by screening her award-winning story of an innocent first love Mukhsin. You watch this and you'll long for that kind of sweet first romance before your life started turning topsy-turvy, a journey we call adulthood.

Sweet romance at its best*smile*

....and he asked her to promise not to cut her beautiful hair...*sigh*

Somehow, it reminds me of the time when my last ex (a movie lover) told me how the ending to Yasmin's movie Sepet left him dumb-founded because the character Jason was pictured dead and yet there was his voice answering the telephone when the then teenager Orked called.

I explained to him my interpretation of the scene. I said that Yasmin's film is about the message it wants to convey. The message in Sepet is 'love that transcends all barriers'. Races, religions, cultures. Even death. Therefore, the way I saw her message was "Our love transcends all and even when I'm dead, my soul will find yours".

I remember my ex's face lighting up as if the last piece of a puzzle he couldn't find had been put into place.

Indeed Kak Yasmin. Your soul found ours with your work and may your legacy live on.

A bridge unbroken.......

Photo by Shannon Brooke

I did a bad thing last night....again.

Unintentionally. I didn't expect it to be what it had turned out to be but it did. It's like a snowball rolling down a mountain.

I had a fight again with my old man. It's a shameful thing. I hate what I'm feeling right now. I did apologize and hug him last night but I went to bed with a heavy feeling in my chest knowing that I just ripped out a bandage on an old wound.

It started simple enough.

I walked in and there he was telling me to stop using my electric oven because the electricity bill shot up too high. Had he stopped there, it would still be ok but in his annoying fashion, he kept on nagging, giving me a speech about how he had to pay for so many things and my activities in the kitchen were burdening him. Believe me, if I just stood there and stay quiet, he would really go on for a whole hour even or more on the same topic. Yes, he's THAT talkative.

With the stress at work and my total dislike for his 'speech', I was very annoyed that he didn't just show me the bill and asked me to pay. In fact, I had always intended to pay my bit but I have pretty vague idea about when do bills arrive in this house. I hate meandering speech. I've always been the straight-to-the-point type.

I suddenly snapped. Saying something along the line of 'just show me the bill', 'easier to talk with figures' and 'what's the point of nagging'. The last word made him blow his top. He walked away to take the bills threatening to slap my face for being horribly rude.

I inherited the worst part of my old man's characteristics. His temper. It's not something I'm proud of. I have struggled all throughout my life to control mine. I'm a much calmer person now and I am known at my workplace as the one who treats others kind and fair but in the wrong moments, the deep dark ugly demon would raise its head. Strangely, my old man and one of my brothers who has bad temper too don't seem to see theirs as a problem. Maybe because they're male and ours is a patriarchal male-dominated society? Men can get away with it easily.

Then the war of words started to ensue with us both shouting ugly things about and to each other. My old man challenged me to list out what I despised in him. I refused to go down that road again. I did that before, years ago and it almost severed my blood ties with him. Seeing me quiet, he saw that as defeat on my part. Now THAT annoyed me.

My big brother stepped in to calm us both and after some persuasion, he succeeded in getting us to cool down. I apologized to my dear old man and hugged him saying I was truly sorry.

The worst thing about the whole ugly episode is we were fighting in front of the full view of my two young nephews. I just set a bad example for my beloved nephews.

What struck me most about the effect the ugly incident had on the little ones was the look on my nephew's face when I smiled at him with dear dad standing near by. The little boy looked at me and then his grandpa and then me and then grandpa. I knew at that moment that he was thinking about last night.

Ok. For my love of the young ones' future, I am promising myself today that I will NOT to the best of my ability, pick up a fight with my father again. His blessings and trust mean so much more to me more than he will ever know.


I want the bridge to remain unbroken.........

Extreme Frugality......how cool is that?

I just love the Internet!

Yesterday, totally by chance, while browsing for 'cookies recipes', I arrived at Gourmet.com which is the online version of an old magazine that has been in existence as far back as the 1940s.

Being the curious reader that I am, my eyes started to wander around the page and saw the title (click) 'Extreme Frugality' on the sidebar. The economy being what it is and my own 'tight' financial situation, this title certainly is something that I couldn't miss.

What I saw upon clicking was a thought-provoking series of household-financial diary of writer W.Hodding Carter who chronicled his effort to bring his family to live within means starting from within their home.

W.Hodding Carter's diary on living within means at Gourmet.com

The reality is many people spend like they earn $120,000 a year when they in fact earn only around $41,000. Mr. Carter is, of course, talking about a typical American family where credit cards contribute billions of dollars to the total consumer debt.

The consumer spending in my country certainly is different. An average Malaysian family wouldn't spend triple times of what they earn. However, for us, we are kind of forced to live beyond our means simply because our disposable income does not match the current standard of living. That is where the lure of credit card comes in with banks lowering the eligibility limits to apply one.

I remember the time when you have to earn MYR60K a year to get a credit card. Reasonable. That would be someone with a MYR5k monthly salary. That was a long time ago and I was a wee kid. Now, you only have to earn MYR1.5K a month to apply for one. I even have friends with even LOWER salaries who have credit cards. Crazy!

Anyway, it is interesting to read Mr. Carter's real-life adventure of growing his own garden, using firewood and rearing chickens to save on grocery and bills.

Talking about bills, I paid off my July bills last night via Internet banking. Within minutes, my bank balance was slashed to half. Phew! However, I applaud the convenience of Internet transaction as it really opens up one's eyes when one actually sees the figures of one's bank balance as opposed to carrying cash around. With cash, I hardly realized my spending and suddenly the MYR100 note has turned into one MYR10 note within a week.

Scary thought......hmmm....

So, here's to Extreme Frugality!

My lack of posts and image hosting problems again!

Yes.

My blog is lacking posts this month. I know. Not that I have no stories to tell. Just that I'm frustrated by the problems with my image hosting service.

When I started, I wanted to make sure that all my posts would be accompanied by pictures. After all, a picture speaks a thousand words. However, my main image host Webshots keeps giving me error messages everytime I try to upload a photo. I don't know why.

Sure, I do have an account with Photobuckets and even MySpace. However, I like the ease-of-use aspect of Webshots where you can select the size of images you want to link to your page without you having to tweak any code. It will preview the size and generate the code for you just by clicking.

The pictures from the few latest posts are either directly uploaded to Blogger or occasionally linked to my MySpace photo album.

I hope the problem will be resolved soon.

She's putting the perfect curse on herself

I'm stuck in yet another desperate situation at work.

Another member left the Section and she was the one we recruited before the last QC operator left. The most annoying thing about it is she left without a word to me or any of us. That cunning manipulative B**CH!!!

Frankly, I did have some suspicions about her when she kept giving clashing excuses for her absence or 'emergency leaves' or medical leaves.

1. She had a car but many times when she needed to go out, she'd say her fiance would come and take her because she didn't have transport.

2. She was absent one day without any information to me despite me having already told everyone in our Section to do so in any event of emergency. Her salary was put on-hold and with a grin on her face, she asked me to sign her unpaid leave application form just so she could get her salary. There wasn't a trace of guilt on her face. I told her to apologize to me first if she wanted my signature endorsement. That incident basically gave me a clear picture of the kind of person she was.

3. She once claimed of having a neck pain which normally resulted from lack of iodine in the diet but after our clerk enquired with the industrial nurse, the clinic staff said there was nothing wrong with her. If any, it was nothing more than normal swollen gum at the back molar. She went on and managed to get her medical leaves from an outside doctor regardless.

4. Then, she asked for another leave because she 'needed to send her cousin to register for college down South'. I had the urge to ask, "doesn't your cousin have parents or brother and sister?". What business would a cousin have sending a cousin to register for college? Whose car
would that be to transport the college girl's belongings there? I let her off but my suspicion was mounting.

5. She texted me for the last time saying she missed her bus and that she didn't have a car. My colleague said her fiance used the car. Oh, so the fiance could use the car when she needed it to go to work YET he could let her have the car to tag along sending her cousin to register for college? What a load of BS!

Needless to say, she was never seen again after the last BS text to me. Now, I'm struggling to juggle the bulk load of unfinished job I assigned to her with my own management assignments. OMG. Not again!

I have always treated my members nice and kind but I will never give second chances for betrayal. I treat people good and I expect them to return that. Never mess with my trust!

I remember the last time a girl left my Section without a word leaving behind her unfinished assignments which I had to settle within TWO days before presenting them to SONY members. I 'cursed' her real bad, wishing for something to happen to her to teach her a real lesson. I was taken aback when a colleague told me months later that the girl was kicked out of the house by her parents for falling pregnant out of wedlock. I didn't wish for something THAT bad but I'm glad she finally learned what it feels like being abandoned when you need help the most.

This latest girl who ran away? I know she's getting married. Let's see. Marriage. Abandonment. Lying. Cheating. Betrayal of trust. Leaving without a word. She really is putting the perfect curse on herself. Hah!

How do I know that I'm a Michael Jackson fan?

Michael Jackson 1958 - 2009

The biggest news last month has got to be the passing of one of the world's most loved superstars the King of Pop Michael Jackson.

When a colleague informed me the news, I seriously thought it was one of those jokes people made of him. As the day went on, it started to dawn on me that the news was real this time.

What finally made me want to write about MJ's passing on my blog is when I came across another blog where the author said that with his sudden death, there was also an influx of people claiming to be MJ's fans. Add to that, MJ's CDs sold out in some music stores in this country! The author then questioned whether those people claimed to be his fans just to 'be part of it'. It made me question myself, am I a genuine MJ fan?

So, how do I know that I'm a genuine Michael Jackson fan?

Here's my list:

1. I knew him before Thriller.

2. When I was still a kid in primary school with limited understanding of English, I was already able to sing One Day In Your Life.

3. I could easily cry singing One day In Your Life which I used to sing back to back with Sheena Easton's For Your Eyes Only.

4. I remember being able to pronounce 'boogie' which was the only word I could decipher from Blame It on the Boogie. I would run around phonetically singing it my way :-)

5. I remember the melody of the chorus to Don't Stop Till You Get Enough. I didn't understand a word he was singing of course :-)

6. I even sat in front of the TV with a piece of paper and a pencil when watching Grammys and American Music Award to total up MJ's many award wins for the Thriller album.

7. I waited for days for the world premiere of the music video Bad. Me and my brother made sure that we 'booked' the TV so we wouldn't miss anything. Yes! We watched the entire video with the short movie in the beginning and all.

8. I was actually able to memorize the acapella 'gangsta' adlibs that Michael did with the dancers at the end of the Bad video.

9. People go ga ga over MJ's moonwalking but his dance move that I yearn to learn the most is the Michael Jackson's 'pirrouette' where he would spin around like his feet were surgically attached to skate boots.

10. Many times, when I'm sitting, concentrating on my work etc, I found myself singing Man In the Mirror, the lyrics of which still inspire me to believe that any change one wishes for the world must start with the person him/herself.

11. I have one of his CDs, Bad. Bought it in the UK while I was studying there. Ok, I'm not a very good fan now that I have only 1 CD. Hey, at least I have the CD years before his passing so that technically takes me out of that group of people who bought MJ stuff coz he died.

12. When Jarvis Cocker of Brit band PULP invaded MJ's performance at the Brit Award 1996, I was of course backing up Michael when my buddy and I argued about it. She supported Cocker. Me? I took MJ's side of course :-)

* Jarvis has put the whole episode behind him now and praises MJ for being a musical genius who tragically didn't live up to his 80s heyday.

13. Play any MJ's videos up to Dangerous album, I'll watch them. His work after Dangerous honestly is not as exciting BUT play any of his concert videos, I'll watch them and still go ga ga over his dance pirrouettes, moonwalks, his adlibs of "hee hee" and what seems to sound like "jamone(?)", the Smooth Criminal leaning tower spring back move (genius!) and the guitars (more about this later).

14. When MJ had to go to court, I would always take his side. Hey, one is only guilty when proven guilty and they couldn't prove anything. Besides, people who are willing to take millions of dollars of settlement after claiming of being molested aren't 'victims' to me. Money can't buy dignity. It can buy greed and opportunity.

15. I believe MJ was innocent.

16. I am sad that nobody wanted to talk about what a charitable person MJ was.

17. I still watch all the tributes every channel gave him. No boredom.

18. I know the songs he duetted with Paul McCartney, Rockwell and Saeidah Garrett (his own backup singer)

19. I of course know the THREE metal guitarists he worked with. Eddie Van Halen, Steve Stevens and Slash. It showed how open-minded Michael was and that was why he was the ultimate superstar who managed to cross so many boundaries musically, artistically and socially.

Goodbye Michael.
Thanks for the inspiration and being a big musical part of my childhood.
My personal wish is that you left with the faith and peace you longed for.
Only the Almighty knows.