What? No posts for October?!

I can't believe I didn't post anything in October. I'm not proud of this, you know. It means I couldn't even pull myself away from getting too immersed in my busy October schedule for my personal life. I'm guilty of not replying yet to my friend's email. I owe her that.

So, what happened in my life back in October?

1. I went through a series of Audits and Customer meetings. Had a "verbal tension" with this lady from Purchasing. Actually, I do like her but sometimes, when it comes to work, she treats me like I should be chanelling all of my time and resources for HER agenda. When she didn't get what she wants there and then, she would start rattling off words which boil my temper hot. Hey, I can't just split myself into 4 lady!!

2. I got a new boy in my Section. A cute boy and he drives me nuts. No, not that! Ha...ha...! It's just that he's got what I call "the today's generation's syndrome". Meaning, today's kids are pretty spineless expecting things to be served to them on a silver platter. These kids live in an age of the Internet and cellphones. Nobody left schools nowadays without knowing how to use the computer. These kids want things easy and crumble easily at any hint of hardship. So, what's my gripe on my newest boy? Well, he's polite. They all are. However, he drives me insane when he feels the need to come to me EVERY time. Oh, another big gripe of mine about kids nowadays is they have UGLY handwriting and this boy is no exception. I hope by the end of the year, he will be more and more independent. I probably can't do anything about the handwriting though.

3. It's hard not to want to shout profanities at work to some nincompoops in the Administration for making our lives super difficult.

4. For the umpteenth time, I wish the Alien would just DIE! Anyone who knows my blog for quite some time would know who the Alien is. There is an Alien parading around in our company HR as a human. That creature is the most INHUMAN being I've ever known. This is what happened. I got my latest Payslip and saw that they cut out TWO HOURS of payment for my two overtimed Saturdays. As it turned out, the Alien had instructed (this is not written anywhere in the company rules) that any employees in my salary threshold will lose ONE WHOLE HOUR of payment if we scan in our employee card at even ONE MINUTE over 8.00am!!!! Crazy!!! The thing is we only get paid MYR6.25 per hour which is less than USD2! This is insane! Guess what? I have a new wish for the A*****e. I hope he dies of some anal disease or something.

My company's recent 21st Anniversary Buttercream Sponge Cake.
I burned my fingers accidentally while lighting the candles.

5. I finally got through the company's Annual Celebration. I was forced to work alongside the Alien closely yet again this year for it. What a nightmare! The only good thing I got this year is the fact that my friends took some great quality photos of me. I actually looked good without the metallic weird makeup they put on me last year. I made my own face and I looked like myself and that's the way I like it.

Some people just pride themselves on being A***holes

Sometimes I wonder whether our Creator created some people specifically to be a**holes to the rest of us to "test" us or to "balance" the otherwise extremely peaceful and easygoing normal us.

Has it ever puzzled you why some people just do whatever it takes to make other people's lives hell?

Makes me wonder too every time, just what is wrong with being nice and understanding?

I am having a hard time at work at the moment. As one member is resigning soon, I am in the process of arranging another remaining member to help take over her workload. So, I already got the Clerk to issue an application to put this guy to 12-hour shift next week.

When the Clerk made an enquiry to the HR office about this, the snotty motormouth HR Assistant Manager that nobody likes, challenged my request by saying, "Can't you just train him in normal hours?!" over and over. Look, I don't know how his "logic" works but I am essentially making ONE person do the jobs of TWO people. That's why those extra hours for my subordinate are crucial to my Section. This workload that I am in the process of transferring to this boy is exactly the area that our Customer SONY Japan is going to look into next month!!!! I can't risk letting those people scrutinize our work to find "incomplete reports" and jumbled up "monitoring lists" or even "missing inspection parts" simply because the new boy has not been given enough time to totally understand and do the job properly while proceeding with his daily job of inspecting the new samples for Customer Approval.

As usual, I answered back with the argument I brought up for few years already to the HR people every time they argued that my Division is nothing more than a "supporting Division" or in their actual term "the non-money-making Division". I told him that the Management should have been aware that my Section being at the helm of Part Approval is actually doing one of the Cores of TS16949 Five Core Pillars. So, how on earth is the Management still looking at us as a "supporting" Group simply because our Division is NOT producing any products? If the
Management don't understand the principles of our Quality System, then they shouldn't have pushed us to achieve it in the first place. Stupid people! I challenged him back to send me face to face with the Top Management people to explain this matter and that was when he said something like we are "little people" and nobody would listen to us.

Why am I always getting blocked every time I challenge someone of superior to send me direct to the highest Management? I'm not afraid of speaking up. For me, they're the ones who don't have the balls to stand up for what is right.

Oh, by the way, everyone is my Section is essentially doing TWO-person jobs each now. Even my own Manager has not even asked me about our manpower situation. Such is his concern for this Division*sarcasm*. Here we are, a group of overworked and underpaid people who actually are concerned about performing our duties right and proper for our company and yet there are people who question it and are totally clueless on what good management is all about.

Trying to tell myself that "Life Is Beautiful"........

Yeah people.

I'm trying to tell myself that "Life Is Beautiful". Those familiar with my rantings here would probably be able to smell that every time I write something like that, it means I'm being sarcastic. At myself. At life.

Things are not going well at work. Back before July, I blew the roof with my management when they tried to get me demoted. They wanted to split my Section by promoting my colleague to the same position as me meaning I would no longer be his Section Leader. The Management was trying to kick me out of my own Section. Another thing that angered me was their reasoning that it had been a long time since my colleague was last promoted. Excuse me?!!!! His last promotion was in 2006 and my last promotion was in 2005. Were they trying to throw it right at my face that to their eyes, my work isn't up to par to be given any acknowledgment?

I have slaved myself for the past 10 years, representing my management who always went AWOL every time there was an Audit or when some direct Customers coming over for new projects, being stationed away at our Suppliers' premises for Quality matters as the only woman working to wee hours alongside men, extra hours that I gave to the company (unpaid!), working my asses off coming up with new ideas bringing improvement to our Division, dedicating myself to giving education & training to new members to bring out th best in them for our Division and standing up for my colleagues when other people tried to stomp all over them.

In the end, I'm being paid back by getting demoted. Nowadays, my heart is not there anymore. Apart from my Section, I don't care about anything at my workplace anymore.

Below are several more reasons why I keep telling myself that "Life Is Beautiful" just to keep me consoled and positive (hope is a good thing):

1. One of my subordinates is leaving soon. She'll be no more with us starting October. I wish her well because this company holds no future for her.

2. My Section will be reduced to only FOUR people and the Management still hasn't found us the replacement manpower I requested months ago. Not to mention having stolen my Clerk from right under my nose.

3. My car oil is leaking badly and the exhaust has been emitting terrible smoke for weeks now. I'm torn whether to pool my money to overhaul the old engine or to put as downpayment for a new (but far less equipped and accessorized) compact car. I hate having to commit myself to car payment again but at the same time I feel now is the time to get a new car since before the interest rate goes further up.

4. There will be a Green Procurement Audit by SONY Japan in October and my soon-to-resign subordinate is the key person for that particular area that those SONY people want to scrutinize. *sigh*Why oh why must she leave at this time?

5. My car Stereo has "blown up". At first I had my Mp3 Player but suddenly it stopped working yesterday. exactly one year after I started using it. I saw its tiny LED screen bleeping while I was charging it yesterday and then "blank". The horrible thing is I have no backup over the songlist I put in it. So, I may have to put up with at least ONE WEEK of silence in my daily drive to and from work since I have no time to look for replacement during weekdays.


I feel empty each and everyday. So, in order to keep my sanity intact for the following week, this will be my reigning life soundtrack. Though Mr. Sixx wrote it about his heroin addiction, however, just like he did, I feel like my life is being taken away from me with each passing moment. Thanks Nikki.....for this.

Sixx A.M - Life Is Beautiful

"Life Is Beautiful"

You can't quit until you try
You can't live until you die
You can't learn to tell the truth
Until you learn to lie

You can't breathe until you choke
You gotta laugh when you're the joke
There's nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

I know some things that you don't
I've done things that you won't
There's nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home

I was waiting for my hearse
What came next was so much worse
It took a funeral to make me feel alive

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

Alive...
Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

New PC, new Windows and how things suck

Got my new PC at the office.

My new PC at the office.

Yup, they didn't waste time replacing the one I was happily using. Microsoft is forcing everyone to "upgrade" to Windows 7 by not issuing anymore of my beloved Windows XP. Of course, the Windows Office has now been "upgraded" to 2007 from the 2003. It's more of "updreaded" for me.

The only pros are I got a bigger screen similar to the one I'm using at home which is 1280x1024 pixels which is the comfortable size for office work and day-to-day tasks and the Memories are higher. Thank God they didn't change the monitor to the ugly 1399x768 pixels one. I don't understand this craze for wide screens. Day to day documents and office work need you to look faster at the pages from top to bottom not from side-to-side. These manufacturers need to produce computer monitors in equal quantities for both wide screens and regular office viewing. It's not like you watch HD wide screen movies EVERYDAY on your PC.

Remember when I told you about the I.S. people disabling the wallpaper change feature?
I rebelled by making full use of the Windows 7 slide-show Gadget with pictures of cute rock stars....ha....ha...!

They still allow us to make remote connection and at the moment they forgot to disable the "Display background" function so my Warren pic is safe. Still a bit sad though as I didn't get to purchase this beautiful picture of him.

If they disable everything, then I will just resort to the old-fashioned way of printing their pictures (with the office colour laser printer of course!) and stick each of them to my desk calendar. I will not be defeated in this battle!

When they're replacing Chris DeGarmo and Warren DeMartini with Bill Gates......

When I talked about how bad it would be for me if I were forced to use the standard Windows background in my post about being stuck to a wallpaper here, I never thought it would be this quick. I knew it would come into reinforcement someday but I was imagining it to be next year the earliest.

Guess what? I was just informed by the Management today that the computer people are replacing my PC soon. I was shocked. What? It's been barely a year on my desk and now they're getting rid of it. With the ability to change our wallpaper being blocked, I will, like it or not, have to make do with the standard Windows background whatever that is that the Computer people set the new PC to.

Apparently, they're "upgrading" us all to Windows 7. I am still not a fan of Windows 7. I will have to get used to it no matter what. To me, it makes making the simplest task on Windows XP go a few steps further. I don't see where the simplification is. Maybe Bill Gates uses a dictionary from another planet.

Oh, they also will stop the remote connection to a mini server that we're doing now. It means that both my current wallpapers of Chris DeGarmo and Warren Demartini circa 1987-1988 will get deleted. This is really sad.

So, this means "Good bye Chris and good bye Warren"? Hwaaahhhh!!!!


*Update

Btw, I failed to secure this picture as someone else snapped it up. Oh, no! Hwaahhhh!!!

How to torture like an Ancient Torture Device

Have any of you gone to any of those exhibitions of ancient torture devices? I have. TWICE. One of the items on display was a metal chair that one was supposed to be strapped buck naked onto then had the fire lit up underneath it.Since the chair's material is highly heat-conductive, you would be essentially grilled alive. Worse thing is, that chair was supposed to only torture you not kill you. In that situation though, you would be as good as dead.

That was how I felt yesterday as I was put on a hot seat. Really really hot. The highly competent people doing the Lab assessment ISO/IEC 17025 came to evaluate us. What I went through was the mental equivalent of the medieval hot seat.

As I did the recent `internal audit' on Quality Management area, I had to go through an `evaluation' by this lady who was the Lead Auditor. I will not reveal her name as she is a highly respected figure in this field in our country and overseas. It was impossible not to have admiration for this woman for her intelligence and spot-on method of getting to the roots of our problems. Man, did she put me on a grill! Yes, she grilled me. Really really grilled me!


I can't describe how humiliated I was when she asked me to explain some of the things I wrote down in my Audit notes when I couldn't answer a lot of her questions.

"What do you understand an improvement is?"
"How did you as an Auditor draw a conclusion based on this?"
"Did you check the implementation or just simply acknowledge such and such documents exist?"
"Did you get what I mean?"
"Can you see the overall picture?"
"This wasn't that long time ago. So, you should be able to remember"
"Look at this document, can you see the problem? The fundamental problem?"
"See, there is a change in the procedure. So, the policy has changed. Have you, in fact, created more ways for things to go looser?"
"By doing this, you are making things ambiguous...."
"Overall, I'm not going to sugar-coat anything, the system is very weak"
.........etc.....etc.....etc.....

Nothing was a blurry vision to me. It was just blank. Blank space. Our Quality Manager said to me not to panic. No, this was not a panicky situation. My mind just went blank. That was it. I never filled in anything into it since last year as a matter of fact. This is beyond humiliation.


These are some of the things that can be summed up on my competency (or lack thereof):

1.  I was immatured enough to write the very childish statement "Not yet" instead of "Not applicable" in my Audit notes.

2.  Apparently, I couldn't tell the difference between an "adequacy Audit" and a "compliance Audit". She said all I did was skimming on the surface without looking at the overall picture of the system.

3.  I didn't check the implementation at all. Just agreeing to everything based on paperwork. She said I was influenced by the Auditee.

4.  I relied too much on a "Yes/No" type Checksheet.

5.  What on EARTH is "anti-clockwise measurement of a Torque Wrench"? Worse is, I wrote that down in my Audit notes and didn't even bother to understand what it is.

6.  I have "inadequate understanding of the Accreditation Bodies' Policies" because my "Audit findings on the Policy series were inadequately documented".

7.  I have the "Parrot Syndrome". You can teach a parrot to recite what you say but it doesn't necessarily understand what you say. So, I was, most of the time copying what the auditees said without really understanding what their work was all about.

8.  Since everyone is unclear about identifying which areas to improve, she said improving the Internal Auditor is one area we can all work on. Why do I have this feeling that she was talking about me? I'm a weak spot in the system that needs to be strengthened, people :-(


So, below is my response:

1.  Yes, Ma'am. You are right.
2.  With everything that went on at work for the past several months, I was not at all in the mood of learning or giving my all to my job. My friends leaving, my useless management, my paltry salary increase, my family health problems. I was and still am more keen to forget everything instead.
3.  Yes, I believed everything the Auditees said to me because they are the better-trained ones.
4.  Yes, I just recorded everything simply to finish the assignment instead of delving into the core functions of the Lab.
5.  I wish I were heartless or at least separate professionalism from feeling sorry towards my friends in the Lab team.

Being a professional that she is, the lady did point out that our Group really did have selected the right persons as Internal Auditors as we are actually able to pick up problems that we see. All we need (what I need) is to polish up our (my)skill and further understand the requirements and the importance of looking at things as one overall picture.


Now I can tell you an additional reason why I went blank yesterday. I have to admit that during the Q&A session, I was there as my body only. My mind was totally somewhere else.....with a bunch of old geezers.....namely......Deep Purple!

Before going into the meeting room, I printed out some info on the upcoming Deep Purple concert at Arena of Stars, Genting Highlands on 16th May 2010. I was checking about any possibility of me going such as the available ticket and hotel room. The ticket I can afford is for seats furthest from the stage near the doors. Every hotel on that land was not available. It's useless to go to a night event there with no accommodation. This is not like the Capital City where you can simply get a cab and check into any of the many hotels available. Hotels on the highlands are limited. The only one available is the MYR1000+ per night. There is one affordable hotel available but it's at the foot of the mountains which requires you to take the Cable car. I don't know when the last Cable car leaves the centre of the highlands. Besides, this hotel costs more than the affordable ones on the highlands. It's just not worth it. It's even more not worth it now that Ritchie Blackmore, my "first love", is not in the band anymore.

So, with my mind meandering over the Purple geezers and the highlands plus my obvious "rock star obsession", I think you have a pretty clear idea of where I was. This Soldier of Fortune was speeding on the Highway Star. Before she realized, she was already grilled and was blowing it all up like Smoke on the Water.

I'm not even worth MYR50 to my company

Got our new salary today. Very very disappointing. As I'm typing this, I'm trying to hold back the sadness that feels like a heavy stone in my chest. I am very very sad that I am not even worth MYR50 to this company that I've been working like a slave for in the past 10 years.

The last time I felt this way was when they "upgraded" me to the non-overtime-entitlement salary bracket. It was so minuscule that I spent that whole year suffering from paycheck to paycheck scratching my head and scraping to the very bottom of my bank account to pay my car, petrol and bills.

I'm not even worth MYR50. What do I have to prove to the management for monetary appreciation? It seems like nothing I can do would get them to notice my contribution. They only pick me to do things that everybody else is not capable to do. That's all.

This "increment" is not even enough to cover my weekly petrol expenses. It's so comical that before handing over the payslips to my subordinates, I gave a short speech congratulating them and asking them to be grateful for whatever they would get. What a hypocrite I am.

No! I deserve what I wish for. Please Almighty, please open up a whole new world for me and take me through a new road where the path is obstacle-free.

20th April is here and it's Ratt's Infestation album launch day....yeah!

I survived 20th April. Yeah!

I dreaded today as the it should have been the day that I had to join the Management 5S 'factory tour'. I did. Good news is our Managing Director is in Japan at the moment and he wasn't available for us. Alright! He did, however, ask another Japanese to join us. I wasn't sure what his name is as he's fairly new in our branch. He previously was in the China branch. He mainly speaks Japanese and Mandarin and very little English which somehow worked out to our advantage later.

My legs ached as I trailed behind everyone. The men were much faster. Even the fat men were faster than me. This isn't right! After it was all over, we all gave only short comments about the overall condition of the factory as the guy was not proficient enough at intermediate level English.

Ok. Enough about work as I have a reason to celebrate. Checked my mail to see a message from Amazon that my Ratt's Infestation CD is now on the way. Oh, I'm so frigging happy. Let's pray that it arrives in my mailbox safely. I even resisted listening to the `streaming' offered by Roadrunner Records online. I want to be surprised, you see. I have this feeling that it will be a nice surprise too :-)

My week didn't start well as I let out my anger during Monday morning Division briefing about unco-operative people who were not being nice to my subordinates regarding Engineering documents control. My Manager gave me a short lecture instead in front of the WHOLE division about me being emotional in giving instructions. What the heck was he talking about?! I wasn't giving instructions, mister. I really was letting out my anger.

Ok. Back to my celebration of Ratt's new CD. Now that my April 'gift' is out there, I can personally celebrate this special occasion. It's sad that I'm thousands of miles away from all the action. So, last night, I happened to stumble upon an old video of Warrant performing in the Gazzari Club in 1987 on YouTube. Hey, that's the place that Ratt is launching the new CD according to Warren DeMartini except the place is called the Key Club now. Oh, I'm wishing him well :-) In a way, it is his birthday gift too ;-)

I cranked up Eat Me Up Alive this morning in the car on my way to work. Thanks Roadrunner for that free download :-)

Suddenly I'm reminded of a question from a friend at work who asked when I told him that I'm feeling like 15 when I have actually stated here on my blog about feeling 18 in my opening lines.

In response to that, the answer solely lies in this Ratt's new CD.

Frankly, I wasn't that big of a fan back then when I was a teenager. Dokken was and still is my favourite LA band. Their only album that I was able to buy Dancing Undercover didn't stay with me that long. It got stolen. I'm not a fan of Stephen Pearcy's vocals but I really liked Warren's guitar playing which unfortunately didn't sound like it was mixed loud enough in the studio back then. The Infestation album on the other hand put a lot of emphasis on the guitar sound from the two songs I've heard so far.

So, what does being 15 have anything to do with it? It's because this excitement that I'm feeling right now is exactly what I would have had back when I was 15 when a band released a new great album. I would feel like the world is my oyster. I would feel high up in the air. My beautiful world from the great 80s is back :-)

Tonight I'm feeling 15 again ;-)

*Update*

I just have to link to this video. It makes me feel like I was part of the celebration every time I watch it.

Warren DeMartini looks so good here ;-) during an interview at the Key Club with XtremeTV (check them out!).
It's always great to see someone from that era still looking good when many of them are trashy wasted. I have never ever heard or read a single sleazy story about Warren.
Here he is with Carlos Cavazo, the man he chose to be part of the band.

Rock on everyone!

Beware......you may be stuck with that wallpaper for the rest of your life

The computer people have blocked the users' accessibility to another level!

Ok. Nowadays, with the advance in digital technology, it is unfortunately a necessary evil to implement such control especially for a manufacturing plant like ours. Yet still, my feeling about it is ....it sucks!

It's bad enough that I am no longer able to access this blog and the entire MySpace pages as the Internet usage is strictly firewalled. Now, we can't plug in any of our personal flash drives. Well, it means I can't access the pictures taken by my digital camera as the images are stored in a memory card. Cameras with internal memory is OK though. I can live with that.

They also auto-lock our PC if we leave it unattended long enough which really isn't long at all. I went to the ladies' room and came back having to re-enter my password for not only the "mother" PC but also the remote connection login. Good for security but can get haywire at the same time when my keyboard keep saying I have the "caps lock" on even though it is not.

However, the worst thing is we can't change our wallpapers. Oh, come on. What is this? How is that a threat to company computer system and intellectual property security? Which reminds me of that dreadful Windows 7 Starter.

Thankfully, on the day before the implementation of the "locking" system, I happened to set my wallpapers to these.

This is what I chose as the wallpaper for the PC. That's Mr. Cool Chris DeGarmo performing circa Operation Mindcrime.

This what I chose for my "remote desktop" connection wallpaper. That's the beautiful Warren DeMartini from what I believe 1987.
*On a side note, I found this image online and I may have to purchase this photo now that I'm stuck with it. Maybe later when I have extra $$ ;-)

This is what happened when I leave the PC. I have to re-login.

Then re-login for this one too. So, double logging in through these two fine men.

OK. Now, all the images and wallpapers I have in my collection have been rendered useless. How sad my life has become, huh?

But then what is there to complain when I'm stuck with Chris DeGarmo and Warren DeMartini?

(*Unless they forced everyone to the blue Windows background in the future. Now, that would really suck!)

Just a Girl Living in Captivity.....that's me

Remember more than a decade ago when No Doubt released the song Just A Girl? I bought both versions of the CD single in the UK as I found playing the song "charged up my batteries when they were running low".

There is a line in that song which I really like that goes.....

"Oh, I'm loaded up to here..."

....which perfectly expresses a girl's frustration to the max and that's exactly what I'm going through right now.

It's about the messy politics at my workplace, of course. So, yes, my dear friend is confirmed to be leaving next week. The management hastily got a fairly new guy to fill in his place taking over some of the tasks. The problem is our management are so clueless about what it takes to get someone to fill another person's shoes.

As expected, right after the Manager had a face-to-face talk with my friend, I was approached to give support in 'training' the new member especially in Supplier Audit matters. As soon as he opened his mouth, I said "NO!" Within seconds I went into a near-teary outburst about how "loaded up to the max" I am. I basically told him that I can't afford the time to take any other extra task as I've been jeopardizing my own responsibility in the Engineering section quite a bit lately. I'm just lucky to have a right-hand guy who is there supporting me and picking up my slack all the way without complaining.

I said that all these years, each time a key member resigned, I would be the person that their workload got dumped upon. Let me list them out:

1. An XRF activity in-charge colleague resigned back in 2004, I had to step in. Continuing with the daily inspection monitoring, revising and perfecting the procedures he left behind.

2. A colleague who was a member of the environmental & Green procurement committee resigned, her position in the Committee went to me. They said I had the knowledge, duh!

3. A clerk resigned, her education & training co-ordination work went to me as I am the main Trainer in our division. I must be the highest-paying "clerk" here.

4. A close colleague resigned last year, I had to take over one of her jobs going to suppliers for Sony models process verification as I am the person who normally has to do the presentation with Sony people.

5. Now, another close colleague is leaving, do I have to take over his job too? Heck, no way!

Here are some other reasons why (among many more reasons):

1. I'm already a permanent TS16949 system internal Auditor as almost half of the trained auditors were granted VSS. I'm one of the unlucky few who didn't get it.

2. They just made me an Auditor for ISO/IEC 17025 system on top of that. Apparently, I was selected for "being enthusiastically serious" during a Training session with an independent consultant. Now, they're already talking about sending me to a one-week training again in the capital city in May "to further deepen my knowledge". Heaven, help me .....aaaargghh!!!

3. I'm doing many of our Division's instruction manuals besides being the main active Trainer as nobody else seems to be making them now.

4. I've been forced to be in this year's Annual Dinner committee again as the Alien has taken a liking to me being the Secretary. I have instead made no secret that I dislike him.

5. My slackening with my own section caused a major demerit when Sony people came to audit their blu-ray model recently when my members put in the delivery quantity of one component incorrectly. It caused confusion to everyone as we never ordered that high of quantities ever. We had to correct everything there and then. I still feel bad about it and I admitted to having mis-looked that particular detail as at the time, I basically had to handle the project on my own. My section was left with only three people in those desperate times.

6. I'm very angry with the management for not listening to my plea not to interfere with my friends' Section. Now both of them have chosen to leave the company. Can't our management see that people are unhappy? So, why should I be supportive when our management don't care about us?

7. Why should I be the scapegoat working my brains coming up with improvement plans proposal for our Suppliers when there is someone here actually making money out of those defect parts? Yes, that's an open secret that nearly everyone knows here. Unethical if you ask me.

So, everyone, I have declared to my management that I will not be giving extra support anymore. Yesterday, me and my soon-to-resign buddy might have scared the new guy when we told him to be ready to :

1. "stand on your own two feet",
2. "face the battle as a Pawn parading around as the Knight because everyone knows the King is useless",
3. "be creative to cook up an answer in a meeting when your Superior never shows up"....ha....ha....ha!

We laughed hysterically when he said something about "a real soldier will not turn away from a battle". Oh, youth naivety xD I have only one thing to say here. Soon you will find out who are the ones "running away from the battle". I said to my buddy, "I have battled with every weapon and shields there can be from Samurai sword to auto-machine gun and have no more to battle with other than detonating a nuclear bomb and end it all". Ha! Ha! So, this tired soldier has decided to retire :-)

The new guy must be so scared that he called in sick today. Hey, me and my buddy were just opening him up to reality ;-)

Yes. Right now, I am "just a girl living in captivity" and that "I'm loaded up to here". Gwen Stefani really knew how to work that to her advantage, huh?

Am I the Queen of the 'comfort zone' now?

My father was back home yesterday. I kissed his hand. He was smiling. Knowing him, I think it's his way of keeping himself positive. As usual, he said he's fine. He'd only say he's sick when he wants attention and pampering. If he says he's fine, it means he doesn't want people to worry.

I don't know why but the house felt half empty for the past several days. It is the same way if my nephews are not around. One thing for sure, a full house with all the family members is the best. I may live in my own little cocoon but I love the sounds of 'family' around.

My grandmother was over at our place last night saying that I should get a new car when she saw me arriving home with my uncle's borrowed 'antique' Toyota from I don't know what year. It is strange that I grew up wanting nice things in life yet I'm living my life surviving on very little in my own strangely comfort zone. I've read it a lot that successful people are those who don't like to stay in comfort zones. What does that say about me, huh? Lately, I'm feeling scared of myself when I think of it like that.

I certainly don't want to dampen my April but today, I've been receiving about 3 pieces of news that make me unhappy.

1. Following my rant about the month of March especially at work in my post here, a friend informed me that the tough-talking lady from procurement group was not too pleased with the email I fired at her for constantly following up with me on matters that are not within my responsibility scope. It's not fair that everything has to be burdened on my shoulders when I have already clearly defined what my job scope is. Is it so hard to go to the correct person for whatever the concerned matter is? Also, why wouldn't she cc her emails correspondence to my upper management? I'm not happy with that at all.

2. The HR people sent me an email saying the Alien wants me back this year as the Annual Dinner Committee's Secretary. That Alien saw me this morning and from 20 feet away, he shouted about making me the host again. I rambled on as I walked on the sidewalk of the old factory building about the job not worthy of the paltry pay.

3. My dear friend really did get the new job. Not that I'm unhappy for him but I'm unhappy that I'm losing a `little brother'. For the many years that I have worked here, he has always been a constant source of laughter and some spats (of course xD) but it's mostly laughter. He was my emceeing partner last year. Our first emceeing job. I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else. What people saw that night was two friends joking and goofing around, having a good time being crazy. I wouldn't do anything if what heart is not in it.

So, in actual truth, all 3 of the above is interlinked with each other. When my dear friend leaves, there will be no one to take over his job and my upper management people don't seem to care which may put me in deep water. My friend has always been the star of the company's Annual Dinner and without him, I don't have the heart to be any part of it. As much as I wish joy and luck to my friends but it breaks me each time one leaves. They are moving on to something new and trying to turn their lives around for the better.

All these lead back to me and the comfort zone issue. Now, if everything that's happening isn't a slap on my face, then I probably had gone through a labotomy in a missing timeline of my life and not knowing it. Wake up girl! You have been semi-hibernating too long.

I'm going on tour on 20th April ('factory tour' that is, duh!) and the Alien strikes again (help!)

Oh, pants!

Something I dread just arrived :-(

Just checked my email and saw a message from the Admin people that I have been selected for the next 'factory tour with the Managing Director(MD)' which they officially refer to as '5S Rounding'. That's the thing about working for a Japanese company. They have all these concept and principles that we have to follow.

It used to be so simple. Only the MD and 2 or 3 people from the Admin would be involved. One of them would be a translator to the MD. That was it. All we had to do was wait for them to come over to our respective Division and then wait for the report maybe a week later.

Now, it's almost like a battalion of management people selected from different divisions/departments to accompany the MD on his 'tour'. The walking part is fine as we all need a bit of exercise every now and then. However, the thing I hate the most about it is going to other divisions/departments and picking out bad things you see about them. Then, at the end of the 'tour', you are required to highlight those bad points to the MD one by one.

Look, walking around all day with the MD just isn't my idea of a good time.

Another thing. When will somebody deport the Alien back to his planet? To those not in the know, the Alien is the name I gave to our HR Manager as he is so inhuman to me, he must be an alien.

Last week, the Alien said loudly to me from across another table at the factory canteen that he had been nominated again to head this year's Annual Dinner. Oh, pants, pants, pants! Why oh why?

On Monday morning, my Manager informed us all in the morning briefing that the Alien indeed has been chosen as the Chairman and that he wants ALL the people from last year's Committee to join this year. From the way he said it, I think my Manager already agreed to it. Oh, come one. So, if this Alien is chosen again next year, I'll be stuck to that Committee again? Yikes. Help!!!

I wasn't happy with the outcome last year. I didn't have much time to eat. My "professionally applied" makeup was a "fail". My "payment" as the emcee was paltry. Then, the worst thing is, they didn't even have it all on VCDs. The only time I was the "star" of the show, they didn't make a VCD. All the crappy events in previous years had double VCDs even. It's just so unfair.

There are only TWO things I can be grateful of with all these Management things:

1. Being in that Committee means I get to participate in food-tasting. Now, that is what makes life worth living.

2. As much as I hate the 'tour of duty' on 20th April, that date will also be the date..........



.........that RATT's new album Infestation will be officially released. Yeah!

The 'March-ing' Order! U call this helping a friend?

March 2010 sucked!

I didn't post that much in March noticeably. Spent most the time last month feeling very very pissed off at people from work. Lots of things in my life didn't go well last month.

1. One subordinate of mine ran away after spinning some tales to us to the last day

2. Forced into doing the highly technical Audit of the Lab system at our workplace. Come on, my brain is old. Do I have to work it this hard again? Besides, there are other people who went into that training but are freed from the job. I didn't even finish my training due to work commitment at the time and yet I am the one who is having to study this set of Lab policies on my own so that I could carry out the Audit work. How unfair!

3. My car clutch plate broke really bad and my car stalled right in the middle of a busy junction. Thanks Heaven that a nice brother from another Division who was there at the time helped me push the car to the roadside. Thanks bro. The car had to be towed away. That already cost me MYR70. Now, I'm anticipating a HUGE bill to pay for the rest.

4. My father found out that his brother actually has the Soursop fruit tree which is known as a natural cancer killer. Sadly, at the moment, the tree is not bearing any fruit.

5. One item I already paid for on 1st March on eBay still hasn't arrived as I'm writing this. The seller never informed me whether he has posted it or not.

6. I was suddenly dragged into a project at work I didn't want to be a big part of. Unfortunately, I have been made a 'key person' by 'default', I would say.

7. As a result of No.6, I am now feeling very pissed off at a friend as he was the one who put me into that situation.

Now, let's talk of No.6 and No.7. This is how it started.

I certainly am no jerk but I am no angel. So, when a friend of mine who was having difficulties coping with his work came to me for support, naturally I helped out. In the past few years, I kind of have a reputation as an 'unofficial mediator' between my colleagues, subordinates and the division management. I really don't know how it developed but I assume it must be down to my work principle of keeping the communication with the upper management, being in the middle management myself.

Being that 'accidental mediator', I tended to speak out for those who can't communicate well with the Management. However, I am not the type who support people blindly (which is why I'm not associated with any political parties here). I speak within reasons and I give advice to friends accordingly when they ask for it. I don't like it when people ask for my support and then 'hide' behind me. To me, when you ask for support from your friends, you still should be the one to stand up on your own and have your friends as the additional voice along with yours. You should stand side by side with your friend and NOT push your friend to the front to cover up for you.

I was not happy when my friend drag my name into a supplier environment control activity which came to a stall after another collague resigned last year. As the person who is in charge of the Division environmental procedure, I have made it clear of who should do what. Supplier control is certainly not the job I had defined as mine. I did support my colleague last time here and there a bit BUT as a supporter only, NOT the main person-in-charge.

I was very very angry when my friend didn't even attend the meeting he initiated with the procurement person. There I was at the meeting table with a reluctant member from my upper management facing a tough-talking lady from the procurement group. I ended up having to highlight other people's problems on their behalf. Needless to say, I told my friend off that day, "Don't you ever do that to me again!". Things got worse when in the subsequent pre-meeting, I was still 'the voice'. Then, all the emails and management requests started to be directed to me instead. Now, this is what I hate about the working culture in this company or in this country for that matter. Those who speak out will end up being made the person-in-charge.

So, now I have another burden being slumped on my shoulders. This Supplier control project is still under discussion whereby I shall have to revise some clauses in the procedure. I certainly don't want people to come to me for Supplier rank summary or to follow up with Memos and such.

Now this is where I am SO frigging pissed off at my friend. Guess what? After all these, he announced to me that he just got another job offer from another company! Worse is, I was the last among his close friends that he informed. I could have strangled him!

Today's Youngsters Drive Me Mad!

I'm SO NOT in good spirit this month.

Yup, yet another member of my Section ran away. Left without any explanation. The most annoying thing is he's originally from my area. We even went to the same primary school. He was my brother's deskmate at school. So, he's not exactly a stranger.

The crazies from my section always came up with the most elaborate excuses to not turn up for work. I have told you about the girl who did the runner last time here. By the way, that witch is back in this company working for another Department where she doesn't have to use too much brain. News traveled fast and my friends took no time to inform me that she left because apparently I was too hard on her and gave too many instructions. She couldn't take it. OH! So, my intensive personal one-to-one on-job-training sessions with her were not appreciated at all. Instead I was branded 'the bitchy female boss'. I saw her a few times since but ignored her totally. Someone like that just isn't worth any of my precious time.

So, how about it this time? Read below:

1.   "Sis, I had a toothache. I can't come today"

2.   "It's toothache again, sis."

3.   "My tooth really hurt yesterday"

4.   "It's raining heavily. My uniform is wet."

5.   "I have to go to the Court tomorrow".
      I thought it was about his child custody problem with his ex. Nah! Our Clerk told me that it was for traffic-related problem. 
      The way she said it, I assumed it must be unpaid parking ticket or some kind of traffic police summon.

6.   Another leave application stated as 'personal matter'.

7.   "Sis, I just got into an accident. I need to send my motorcycle to the workshop now."

8.   "My motorcycle is not fully working yet. I can't come."

9.   "Sis, I have to go to the hospital now. My kid just got involved in an accident. this is emergency."

10.   "Sis. I would like to apply for leave today."

11.  "Sis, I was on the way to work. Then, I received a phone call that my kid is sick."
       How on earth did he hear the phone ring while riding his motorcycle is beyond me.

12.  "You see sis, I didn't even have the time to iron my shirt"
       That was when he turned up the next day with wrinkled uniform.
       Wait, didn't he say he was already on the way to work the day before?
       How come the shirt was still not ironed the day after?

12.  "Sis, I didn't say I was going to leave. I'll come to work tomorrow."
       This was the last time I heard from him. He never turned up of course.

13.  Plus his 'absent without reasons' which I wouldn't waste my time to keep track on.

I'm angry. Angry. Angry. Angry.

Look, I've been working for almost 10 years and I have witnessed how with every younger batch of people in my Section, the quality gets lower and lower.

I am NOT exaggerating when I say that many of today's kids are rude, lazy, ungrateful and spineless. They can't face the least amount of hardship. They want things fast and easy. They can't value anything that cannot be translated into money. They want big salaries but not willing to give the dedication and commitment. Oh, I need to mention that they have awful hand-writing too. I can tolerate the boys on this but then even the girls have ugly hand-writing. What's happening? When did girls stop creating beauty with their hands?

At this point, I'm feeling emotionally and mentally exhausted. My week didn't start well when my subordinates didn't say a word during the morning meeting like they were there as zombies. I got mad and slapped my hand to the desk in front of us exclaiming how angry I was that the morning meeting seemed to not be taken seriously.

I cancelled yesterday's meeting and sent an email to everyone that it would be only on Monday and Wednesday from now on. They MUST inform me their planning for the next few days and Overtime (OT) request. Things improved tremendously today. Not without my 'lecture' on the topic of RESPECT first, of course. Everyone spoke as required. Good.

Or....was it because I stated in my email in RED that 'No info, no OT'? $$$$ is still the King.

SONY, SOEM and SOME SOMEN

Whoah! Am I trying to be a tongue-twister writer here?

Nah! We used to just call them SONY but in a management reshuffling move, they are now known as SOEM.

Opened the email this morning to find a notification from the Admin people that I, along with a colleague, had been invited to a VIP meal at the 'conference room'.

Oh, dear*sigh*, I'd been dreading this day since they emailed me about it last week. The SONY people again. It would be another presentation for the running blu-ray model. They have a thing for 'grilling' you with questions after questions till they're satisfied with your Quality performance.

I went with ZERO preparation. Like 'd normally say it in my native tongue "I bring my body only". No, there's nothing sexual about that idiomatic expression. It is a sarcastic way of saying 'not doing or taking any preparation'. So, you basically go as nothing more than your 'body'.

I knew that there would be that special Japanese dish SOMEN, the cold noodles they like to eat in the hot Summer months to cool the body down. Since Malaysia is basically 'Summerland' all year round with some 'monsoon showers' towards December, the Somen can be enjoyed here any time they want.

Let's talk about the presentation first. It was so humiliating as I had to present the 'old data' from last presentation when it is obviously already 2010. So, "bring my own body" next time, huh? It was so embarrassing when they asked "Can you show the latest Data?" and I had to turn to my colleague for help. Thank the Almighty as the SONY people were not interested in dragging the presentation and were content with the fresh hard copy Data we frantically told our Technician to take from the cabinet way back at our Division office.

Now about the SOMEN, I didn't eat it as I discovered last time that the dark sauce they use has wines listed on the label. I used to eat BOWLS and BOWLS of Somen before I read that label before. Muslims aren't allowed any alcohol in food and drinks.

But I did manage to make my own Somen at home using Light Soy Sauce and Apple Juice. Here's the picture:

My 'non-alcoholic' version of the Japanese Somen. Hey, not bad. Similar to
the real thing :-)

Got my year-end bonus!

Yesterday was 'bonus' day. Yeah!

I desperately need the money especially after having to replace the cooling coil and air-cond compressor of my dear old car.

Bad news, I don't think I got an A. I heard some people got 2.0 mark. C being 1.7, I think I'm far from A. Well, as long I'm not rated C, I'm fine. I know I'm not an A+ employee but I certainly am NOT a C grade employee.

Good news is I got 1.85 which is far from 2.0 but quite a bit of a distance from 1.7. I'm grateful to the Almighty that I'm still visible to the Management. Who knows, after my near-outburst over the organization re-shuffling, they might want to 'erase' me? Apparently, they are not cruel people. So, I'm ok.

For a bit of butt-kissing moment, oh, I even thanked the Manager for my rating like I used to do with the previous Manager. Hey, it's important to keep this etiquette at workplace. Besides, I'm truly thankful for the money I didn't have the day before but today sitting comfortably in my
bank account.

So, off to my online shopping in full-gear. Ha...ha...!

December Calm after the November Storm

Can't believe it's already December.

Another year shall be in soon and I still have the Looney Tunes 2008 Desk calendar from last year in front of me. It is too cute throw away.

So, I'm trying to have a December Resolution. 2010 can wait. Another chapter of my working life is already beginning with my friend's departure and my heated arguments against the Management about it. There's nothing I can do to turn back the clock. So, it's better to just make peace with myself and the people left behind. I'm working on building a new working relationship with the Management. Well, it won't be the same as what I had with the previous fatherly Manager but you can count on me to treat colleagues as respectful co-workers.

I'll be supporting my friends whenever and wherever I can. Well, those I deem the most deserving only. Ha...ha.. I'm no angel ok.

Talking about outdated calendars, my friend left behind a few new ones for 2010 that people gave her as parting gifts for us. There are TWO on my desk now. One is a series of 'appetite-whetting food photography' and another is the normal 'scenery & inspiring words' kind. Flipping through, I found this gem of a quote which can be my December Resolution.

"The art of being wise is knowing when to overlook ~ William James"

May that one light burn for me.....

I'm truly unhappy at work.

It's hard for me to swallow it that my colleague has truly left us because of the management.

Things didn't get better this morning.

I'm still hoping for that light to burn bright for me.

So, for now, let me console myself with this song which I first heard when I was probably 18 or 19. I was at a low point and this lifted me up.

One Light Burning from Richie Sambora

All alone in the dark
No walls no windows
Trying hard to define
Heaven from hell

Standing out in the rain
With just one shadow
Nothing to see or believe
Beyond myself

See my life going by
Each moment I am alive
I keep reaching out, holding on, hoping

Somewhere in my life
There's one light burning
I feel it like my heart beating inside

Somewhere in my life
There's one light burning

All alone with my fears
No words are spoken
A story yet to be told
Locked in my mind

Hope is somewhere ahead
Shining brightly
But the past is always following close behind

See my life going by, each moment I am alive
I keep reaching out, holding on, hoping

Somewhere in my life
There's one light burning
I feel it like my heart beating inside

Somewhere in my life
There's one light burning

Somewhere in my life
There's one light burning
I feel it like my heart beating inside

Somewhere in my life
There's one light burning
Leading the way, leading the way

Me and the retail therapy.........

I did something I never thought I would do last night.

I went for retail therapy.

So, how did I end up with this? Let's begin by saying that I'm not feeling happy at work lately.

A very close colleague has made up her mind to leave the company heartbroken when our current Division Management decided to 'erase' her Section on the silly ground that all she did was paperwork and that her Section did not live up to their name of 'developing our suppliers' ( Read my story on the office space relocation which was the result of this sad event). Those were the shocking words said to me by the Management.

Hurt by the sudden move by the Management, my colleague did the drastic thing of taking up a similar job at a rival factory even though we all know very well that the rival company has a not-too-favourable work condition either. She said, at least the pay is better, the place is nearer to her house and most importantly she doesn't have to look at the face of the.......'eraser'.

Truth be told, she is not the only one hurt by the Management decision. I am one of those badly affected by this as well. My colleague and I have always been co-operative and supportive of each other at work. I know the hard work she has done. Even our Customers praised her for controlling our Suppliers so well. Isn't it sad that outsiders can see what you do and yet your own management are blind to it all?

Even from the moment the Management decided to 'erase' her Section by placing them under another Group ( notorious among the Division for their failures & lack of co-operation with each other ), she and I have come to a stumbling block. As the person who is in charge of procedures and Quality standards, I suddenly found myself with 'ghost figures' for the rules, job responsibilities and guidelines we have set up together. My colleague suddenly found herself having to report to at least THREE different people for different tasks. The Management has dropped onto her lap all the unfinished tasks by those people for her to follow up and conclude. It's crazy. So, now how about the jobs that she and I and the previous Management had discussed together and agreed that she was officially assigned to do?

I went to our Management complaining how disappointed I am that we, the middle management people, we were NEVER informed or consulted before making a major decision like this. I told him that at the end of the day, we are the people who have to perform the jobs and why were our opinions and views never taken into account?

Feeling frustrated and broken, I drove to a Shopping Mall on the way home and walked to a perfume shop. It's true that I'd been eyeing some designer perfumes lately but I had never felt really compelled to buy any till last night.

So, I approached the counter and asked to smell Nina by Nina Ricci, Love by Nina Ricci, Lovely by Sarah Jessica Parker and Glow by JLo. The lady at the counter also recommended a Ferré Limited Edition perfume whose name looked like Rossé to me. At least smelling those perfumes took my mind off the problem at work, even only for that moment. It was a nice dilemma to have. Making up my mind which perfume to choose with the little money I have.

What a pretty packaging!

I settled for Love by Nina Ricci as it was a Limited Edition item, the packaging was just me and I knew that if I didn't get that pretty bottle and packing tin, the images shall stick to my mind for the rest of my life. It's bad enough that what we had held on to at work had been snatched away from us but at least, here in my own world, nobody can take this sweet pretty Love away from me.

Thank you Nina.

Happy Halloween from a Single Lady!

Yeah!

Halloween is here again.

It's Halloween!
Now where's my pumpkin cake?

It's the one day I look forward to every year but never really celebrate.
*Note: How on earth would i celebrate Halloween here anyway?

This year I couldn't be home for it. I had originally plan to try making some mini pumpkin shaped cakes. Just my personal celebration. However, I wasn't home today. Instead I was there with 90% of my fellow factory workers having our Annual Dinner. I was the host and I made myself dance onstage to this song..........

All you single ladies.......put your hands up.....woo.....hoo..... :-)

Sure.....I made a total baffoon of myself. In front of 90% of my fellow factory workers no less! But at least I was a cool baffoon.....ha.....ha...

The only thing that made me sad was the way I looked. I was slapped with this vampire-wannabe makeup. Silver eyeshadow with black accent, fake lashes and pale lips. It was awful. All the other girls who got the free makeup from our event sponsor looked beautiful but I ended up looking like I just stepped out of a failed audition to impersonate Lady Gaga.

Well, many people said they enjoyed it. So, I do have a reason to smile. Now I'm home sitting in front of the PC and it's Halloween. yeah! So, I'm happy.

So, the old folks' tale says that the spirits of the dead come back to visit us on Halloween. So, in case any of them comes back, I certainly want this Teutonic cutie to visit me. Love u Ingo :-)

♥♥Ich liebe dich Liebling♥♥