Trying to tell myself that "Life Is Beautiful"........

Yeah people.

I'm trying to tell myself that "Life Is Beautiful". Those familiar with my rantings here would probably be able to smell that every time I write something like that, it means I'm being sarcastic. At myself. At life.

Things are not going well at work. Back before July, I blew the roof with my management when they tried to get me demoted. They wanted to split my Section by promoting my colleague to the same position as me meaning I would no longer be his Section Leader. The Management was trying to kick me out of my own Section. Another thing that angered me was their reasoning that it had been a long time since my colleague was last promoted. Excuse me?!!!! His last promotion was in 2006 and my last promotion was in 2005. Were they trying to throw it right at my face that to their eyes, my work isn't up to par to be given any acknowledgment?

I have slaved myself for the past 10 years, representing my management who always went AWOL every time there was an Audit or when some direct Customers coming over for new projects, being stationed away at our Suppliers' premises for Quality matters as the only woman working to wee hours alongside men, extra hours that I gave to the company (unpaid!), working my asses off coming up with new ideas bringing improvement to our Division, dedicating myself to giving education & training to new members to bring out th best in them for our Division and standing up for my colleagues when other people tried to stomp all over them.

In the end, I'm being paid back by getting demoted. Nowadays, my heart is not there anymore. Apart from my Section, I don't care about anything at my workplace anymore.

Below are several more reasons why I keep telling myself that "Life Is Beautiful" just to keep me consoled and positive (hope is a good thing):

1. One of my subordinates is leaving soon. She'll be no more with us starting October. I wish her well because this company holds no future for her.

2. My Section will be reduced to only FOUR people and the Management still hasn't found us the replacement manpower I requested months ago. Not to mention having stolen my Clerk from right under my nose.

3. My car oil is leaking badly and the exhaust has been emitting terrible smoke for weeks now. I'm torn whether to pool my money to overhaul the old engine or to put as downpayment for a new (but far less equipped and accessorized) compact car. I hate having to commit myself to car payment again but at the same time I feel now is the time to get a new car since before the interest rate goes further up.

4. There will be a Green Procurement Audit by SONY Japan in October and my soon-to-resign subordinate is the key person for that particular area that those SONY people want to scrutinize. *sigh*Why oh why must she leave at this time?

5. My car Stereo has "blown up". At first I had my Mp3 Player but suddenly it stopped working yesterday. exactly one year after I started using it. I saw its tiny LED screen bleeping while I was charging it yesterday and then "blank". The horrible thing is I have no backup over the songlist I put in it. So, I may have to put up with at least ONE WEEK of silence in my daily drive to and from work since I have no time to look for replacement during weekdays.


I feel empty each and everyday. So, in order to keep my sanity intact for the following week, this will be my reigning life soundtrack. Though Mr. Sixx wrote it about his heroin addiction, however, just like he did, I feel like my life is being taken away from me with each passing moment. Thanks Nikki.....for this.

Sixx A.M - Life Is Beautiful

"Life Is Beautiful"

You can't quit until you try
You can't live until you die
You can't learn to tell the truth
Until you learn to lie

You can't breathe until you choke
You gotta laugh when you're the joke
There's nothing like a funeral to make you feel alive

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

I know some things that you don't
I've done things that you won't
There's nothing like a trail of blood to find your way back home

I was waiting for my hearse
What came next was so much worse
It took a funeral to make me feel alive

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

Alive...
Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?

Just open your eyes
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful.
Will you swear on your life,
That no one will cry at my funeral?