Today is the day that I declare that the Alien shall be deported back to Planet Zeug that he came from for good.
For those who are new to this blog, The Alien I'm referring to is my HR Manager.
I should have ranted about this weeks and weeks ago. I tried to think that it's not important but today I have reached the almost-breaking point.
This year, my management had chosen me to be in the company Annual Celebration committee. So, with a heavy heart, off I went and immediately got picked by The Alien, who heads the team this year, to be the Secretary as he was familiar with my work as the Secretary for
Canteen Committee some years ago.
Then, my nightmare began when The Alien also picked me to be one of the Emcees for the Event. Pairing me up with a guy who is so quiet and untalkative. By the next meeting, I managed to fight to get my colleague, who's loud and lively, to be the other Emcee. Thank God, the Alien relented. I thought the problem was over. I was wrong.
So, today we have our hmm....8th(?) meeting? I remember the Alien telling us, the Main Committee members, to do some sort of a performance this year as it was something that had never been done in previous years. Damn it! He also had the nerve to suggest doing this mega stupid "poco-poco dance" that has now become some sort of a staple in the itinerary of many government and state functions in this country. That fact alone is enough to trigger "allergic reaction" in me. Every nerve and every piece of hair on my body must have resisted the idea that each of them seems to have sent information to my brain that says "vomit, vomit, vomit".
What angered me was that he asked us in previous meetings for ideas of what to do for the performance.
I did the initiative and picked a song I thought would be very easy for us to do. No singing, just waving our hands and clapping. Length of the song is just several seconds over 1 minute. It's the TV theme to the show Happy Days. That one with the Fonz and Richie. It's a great happy song. The best thing is, the song is short and sweet.
Happy Days Theme song
ABBA - Thank U 4 the Music (on Swedish TV)
Then, somebody in the committee replied to say he preferred something without dancing. Just singing. So, he and I agreed on ABBA Thank You For The Music. Classy song. No need to fool ourselves onstage.
I even emailed to EVERYBODY in the committee last week about the two proposals. I thought they would get discussed in this meeting. I was wrong again.
The Alien had the nerve to say in our meeting that "No choice! We have to do the poco-poco".
I felt like bopping his head with an anvil. I tried to speak up. Thankfully some members did try to back me up. However, The Alien kept on talking and talking and totally shoving his words down everyone's throat. I was livid. See, I'm not the type who likes to hide how I feel. I'm sure my facial expression was obvious to those who saw me at the time.
After the meeting was almost over, I finally got to butt in asking for my proposals to be considered. Only then did he loosen up a bit. But it was useless because the people from the Entertainment company were already gone by that time.
It's so annoying that here is someone who can barely walk straight. Limping all over. He has a few serious illnesses. He also is hardly here at the company premises. It's always business trips to Indonesia, the South, the capital city, the government offices bla...bla... He can barely stand like a human. Let alone have the time to practise how to dance. Now he thinks he can dance the "poco-poco" which is basically line-dancing for people who can't afford real dancing class.........and
WITHOUT rehearsals. Yes, he flatly refused to let us have full-rehearsal the day before the Event to cut on cost as using the Hall even the day before still incurrs cost. Unbelievable!
What about my emails? Wait, come to think of it, he never replied to my emails. Everytime I sent him the meeting reports, he'd just call me instead to tell his comments. His fingers probably limp too that he can't type. I don't know.
Should I say that the example video that the Entertainment company showed us was a decent one. However, this Chairman conveniently ignored the fact that the people dancing in the video were a group of young female lawyers with tiny waists and flowing dresses. Of course, they looked good!
Now, the HR guy thinks he can do what those ladies did. He really thinks he blends in when he sticks out like a sore thumb. He really IS an alien.
Maybe he already knows he looks silly and he just wants to drag everyone else to look just as silly along with him. Hmmm....
To top it all off, he crushed my spirits when I found out in the meeting that the radio-controlled helicopter gimmick I was excited about was slashed from the agenda due to his refusal to make way for extra cost. I'm so sad as that helicopter thing was the one I was eagerly looking forward to in this year's celebration.
The helicopter gimmick was initially planned as we wanted something extra special for the 20th Anniversary. The copter would be flying carrying the number 20 to the MD for him to put it on the backdrop of the Stage. I had already prepared the script and the scenario for it. I even had prepared the theme song to the TV show Airwolf to play during the copter entry into the Hall. Wouldn't that be cool? A copter (albeit a tiny one) flies into the Hall to the stage with the Airwolf theme playing? It's never been done before at any of our Anniversary. Then, I'd love to have Van Halen's instrumental version of Jump to mark the Grand Opening as the MD put the No.20 on the wall. Hey, even the national media station uses excerpts of that song sometimes.
Van Halen - Jump
Can you believe what they had as alternative to the copter? Someone carrying the number 20 on a tray and hand it over to the MD to pin on the wall. Boring-a-mundo and Crap-tastic if you ask me.
OK. So, now there would be NO Airwolf supercopter to save the day. My Happy Days seem to go down the drain and there seems to be slim chance of Thank-ing You for the Music.
So what is my only way of saving myself from this misery? OK. The Committee members shall be wearing dark trousers and black vest. We will be just a-jacket-and-a-pair-of-dark-glasses away from being "Men In Black". Maybe I can try infusing THAT into it.
Now......where is that deportation space ship?