Words of Wisdom
~ Nigella Lawson....(on women's body image and her own voluptuous body)
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Batman and the Dates from Hell
Talking about Batman, I would like to share with everyone a book I bought more than a decade ago called Dates From Hell by Maryon Tysoe (published in 1994 by Headline Book Publishing) which is basically a collection of her readers and her friends/family's accounts of horror dating stories.
Ever since I became a working woman, my attention span has got shorter and shorter everyday. My love for reading is still intact though. Thus, this book is perfect for me.
The following is a story from it which has "Batman" as an unwelcomed character. This is not my story. I didn't write this. My intention is to share an example of how hilarious this book is.
Let's read the story..............
"Nigel was tall, thin and my boss - and not to my personal taste. But when he asked me out to see the newly released Batman I didn't hesitate to accept. After all, a cinema date, if not conducted in the back row, could hardly be a romantic minefield.
He turned up at my flat promptly. When we were alone, he announced that he had a surprise for me but first needed to use the loo. He was in there about 10 minutes, during which I heard a lot of mysterious fumbling noises and started worrying about that.
Finally Nigel called from the bathroom for me to switch off all the lights and turn to face the window. After assuring me it would be harmless, I duly followed. When he told me to turn round, I saw.......
Nigel stood in the doorway, the only light coming from the street lamp outside. He raised his wings and there he was, fully kitted in a replica of Batman's suit complete with black rubber mask and pointy ears and underwear outside his tights.
He swooped towards me but I was too busy laughing. I jumped out of the way and he almost fell out of the window. When he recovered his composure, he informed me that we were going to the cinema in a hired 'Batmobile'. And no, he would not be changing out of his outfit.
With that, we motored toward the city centre, me with my eyes tightly shut, dying of embarrassment. He drove slowly in an open-topped old black Cadillac adorned with a gigantic Bat motif, acknowledging the very excited pedestrians who surrounded us at every traffic light stop.
We parked 10 minutes' walk from the cinema. I trailed as far behind Nigel as I could while he swooped along the pavement, stopping people and buses in their tracks.
When we took our seats in the cinema, practically the entire audience applauded him. I sank lower and lower into my seat. When the film started, he knew every damn line Batman spoke - and joined in with him, much to the annoyance of everyone within earshot. Apparently Nigel had seen the film 10 times, and it had only been out there 3 weeks!
When we eventually got home, he kissed my cheek and his rubber mask stuck sweatily to my skin. I went to bed shellshocked, grateful at least that The Shining had not been his favourite movie."
While the above story isn't mine, the following picture however is mine.
I drew this inspired by the story above. The colours were painted in using Microsoft Paint. Hope you like it :-)