Words of Wisdom

In life, we have to choose between the jeans and the cookie jar. Liz Hurley chose the jeans and I chose the cookie jar

~ Nigella Lawson....(on women's body image and her own voluptuous body)

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Am I the Queen of the 'comfort zone' now?

My father was back home yesterday. I kissed his hand. He was smiling. Knowing him, I think it's his way of keeping himself positive. As usual, he said he's fine. He'd only say he's sick when he wants attention and pampering. If he says he's fine, it means he doesn't want people to worry.

I don't know why but the house felt half empty for the past several days. It is the same way if my nephews are not around. One thing for sure, a full house with all the family members is the best. I may live in my own little cocoon but I love the sounds of 'family' around.

My grandmother was over at our place last night saying that I should get a new car when she saw me arriving home with my uncle's borrowed 'antique' Toyota from I don't know what year. It is strange that I grew up wanting nice things in life yet I'm living my life surviving on very little in my own strangely comfort zone. I've read it a lot that successful people are those who don't like to stay in comfort zones. What does that say about me, huh? Lately, I'm feeling scared of myself when I think of it like that.

I certainly don't want to dampen my April but today, I've been receiving about 3 pieces of news that make me unhappy.

1. Following my rant about the month of March especially at work in my post here, a friend informed me that the tough-talking lady from procurement group was not too pleased with the email I fired at her for constantly following up with me on matters that are not within my responsibility scope. It's not fair that everything has to be burdened on my shoulders when I have already clearly defined what my job scope is. Is it so hard to go to the correct person for whatever the concerned matter is? Also, why wouldn't she cc her emails correspondence to my upper management? I'm not happy with that at all.

2. The HR people sent me an email saying the Alien wants me back this year as the Annual Dinner Committee's Secretary. That Alien saw me this morning and from 20 feet away, he shouted about making me the host again. I rambled on as I walked on the sidewalk of the old factory building about the job not worthy of the paltry pay.

3. My dear friend really did get the new job. Not that I'm unhappy for him but I'm unhappy that I'm losing a `little brother'. For the many years that I have worked here, he has always been a constant source of laughter and some spats (of course xD) but it's mostly laughter. He was my emceeing partner last year. Our first emceeing job. I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else. What people saw that night was two friends joking and goofing around, having a good time being crazy. I wouldn't do anything if what heart is not in it.

So, in actual truth, all 3 of the above is interlinked with each other. When my dear friend leaves, there will be no one to take over his job and my upper management people don't seem to care which may put me in deep water. My friend has always been the star of the company's Annual Dinner and without him, I don't have the heart to be any part of it. As much as I wish joy and luck to my friends but it breaks me each time one leaves. They are moving on to something new and trying to turn their lives around for the better.

All these lead back to me and the comfort zone issue. Now, if everything that's happening isn't a slap on my face, then I probably had gone through a labotomy in a missing timeline of my life and not knowing it. Wake up girl! You have been semi-hibernating too long.

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